THE MALONEYS

So the Brit Award nominations were released this week to the usual apathy. Posthumous nods , token tastemakers mentions and the same old drivel/

But forget the Brit Awards , for today I can announce a new , prestigous awards ceremony that will honour and denigrate the very worst in British music. And in honour of the worst thing to ever perform on a primetime music show , the infamous Christopher Maloney -2013 will see the dawning of the inaugural The Maloneys.

Identical format to the Brits , but substituting the worst for the best. Nominations are in full below. I'm hoping ITV2 will pick up the rights and screen The Maloneys on the exact same night as The Brits. Hosted by Jane McDponald , with guest presenters such as Sinitta , Mark Wright , some peeps from TOWIE  , Paula Hamilton , Johnny Robinson , Peter Andre , Nicola McLean , David van Day , the fat one from G4 and Ruth Lorenzo. I envison a glittering , alcohol fuelled bash.


THE MALONEYS 2013 -THE NOMINATIONS

WORST BRITISH MALE
Dappy
Marcus Collins
Fazer
Frankie Cocozza
Mika


WORST BRITISH FEMALE
Tulisa
Leanne Mitchell
Susan Boyle
Cheryl
Pixie Lott

WORST GROUP
JLS
One Direction
Military Wives
Sugababes
McFly

LIDL WORST BRITISH ALBUM

Dappy -Bad Intentions
Tulisa -The Female Boss
JLS -Evolution
Marcus Collins -Marcus Collins
Susan Boyle -Standing Ovation

SIR JIMMY SAVILLE WORST BRITISH SINGLE
Stooshe -Waterfalls
George Michael -White Light
Marcus Collins -Seven Nation Army
Tulisa -Live It Up
JLS -Hottest Girl In The World
Marcus Collins -Mercy
Tulisa -Sight Of You
Dappy -Yin Yang
Frankie Cocozza -Shes Got A Motorcycle
Gary Barlow & Military Wives -Sing
Steps -Light Up The World
Engelbert Humperdinck - Love Will Set You Free


WORST BRITISH BREAKTHROUGH
Leanne Mitchell
2 Shoes
Marcus Collins
Rita Ora
Jake Bugg


WORST LIVE ACT
Cheryl
Tulisa
One Direction
Dappy


WOMANS WAY CRITICS CHOICE
Rylan

WORST INTERNATIONAL GROUP
Linkin Park
Cover Drive
Far East Movement
Jedward
Lady Antebellum

WORST INTERNATIONAL MALE
Pitbull
PSY
Justin Bieber
Chris Brown
Goteye

WORST INTERNATIONAL FEMALE
Mariah Carey
Alyssa Reid
Nicki Minaj
Alexandra Stan
Kimberley Wyatt

So there you have it folks. Tulisa finds herself with 5 nominations , the Emeli Sande of the inaugural Maloneys.
Her N Dubz bandmate Dappy follows with 4. X Factor alumni Marcus Collins is tied with " The Female Boss " with 5 nominations.
George Michael finds himself nominated for his awful comeback single White Light

But who will scoop glory at the soon to be prestigous awards bash. And why not get involved and vote. The Maloneys 2013 will be announced February 21st